You don’t need to be happy.
Lately, I’ve become sick of hearing the sentence ‘just be happy’ or ‘just be positive’. Not trying to discredit the number of effort people have been putting to cheer up each other, it’s just sometimes positivity has become so forced that we outlook the negative sides that have been happening around us. Condolences have been spread throughout the nation, cases kept on breaking records every day, and not to mention the possibility of this ongoing worldwide virus situation to end is still very much uncertain. The world is currently not doing okay and it is okay if you can’t stay positive all the time. After all, it is a scary and tough time for all of us. Sometimes, I even caught myself saying ‘tomorrow’s will be alright’ while not knowing when things will finally settle down.
On Suffering in Pandemic and Being Empathically Aware
Sometimes, it’s starting to get unhealthy when our friend reached out to us but we invalidate it by saying ‘just be grateful!’ or ‘other people has it more unfortunate than you!’. Not everyone can work from home, not everyone have a certain tomorrow, not everyone is safe at their own house, and many more. Why do we do so much for being happy, yet turn a blind eye for calamities and suffering happening around us?
Sometimes, we don’t understand how much we’re privileged until we see the other side of the line. We don’t appreciate our three-times-a-day meal until we see that there are people out there working hard to get lunch. We don’t appreciate our work-from-home situation until we see our friend’s business ran out because they can’t be ‘worked from home’. We don’t appreciate our comfort and stability for tomorrow until we see someone’s saving has run out of luck for next week. Privilege is often overlooked because we’re so busy chasing the undefinable happiness of being okay.
The Pursuit of Happiness
As Mark Manson said in his books:
The opposite of suffering is not happiness, it’s gratitude.
Why are we putting such heavy emphasis of being happy in hard times, instead of being grateful for what we have on our ground? Every situation does have a positive and negative side and I believe that optimism for a better future is needed to a certain amount. But you don’t have to outlook the negative to be positive. Instead, you have to include everything to form a framework that gratitude can come sincerely in any situation. You can be sad and still be grateful.
If you’re reading this because you’re feeling exhausted of pursuing the happiness, don’t! Remember, to pursue happiness is the guarantee to not ever feel happy. Be grateful, then happiness will follow you.
